Uncomfortable In My Own Skin.

Do you ever just feel like you don't know who you are anymore? You feel like you're not the same person a year ago or even from last week, but can't pinpoint what's changed? Or why it changed? Maybe nothing changed, but you just think it changed? Or think it was everything or everyone else that changed and not you? What about feeling like you don't belong anymore? That you got left out? Not because someone or something really left you out, but because you're the one that chose to leave? What if it's that you really do belong, but you're choosing not to accept it? Maybe you're really the same person you always were? No...that's not it...you've changed. Or at the very least...changing. Maybe changing isn't a good word...maybe growing? But why would you find yourself growing and feeling lost all at the same time? Maybe you're too consumed with the thought of where I am headed rather than where God is leading you to? Just when you think you're getting on a path with God, you're still making it about yourself? You're choosing NOT to belong (even though you are changing) because you somehow think your change is bigger and better than something or someone else? Or maybe you think your change ISN'T as great as something or someone else? You soon find yourself incredibly unhappy. Almost depressed. Uncomfortable in your own skin. Not wanting to be here, but not wanting to be there either. Wondering whether to stay or to go. To try something new? Try and figure it out? But does it take leaving to figure it out? You suddenly don't know...maybe you think there's no right or wrong answer here? You shove your thoughts underneath your sheets at night and wake up to a new day...(thinking) you're renewed...(thinking) I was over-analyzing...but a couple days later...you've stepped out of body again. You feel like an outsider looking in. But all you can see is static? Discomfort? No....you see unhappiness. But why are you unhappy? Again...you don't know. Upon feeling like you've changed, do you feel like you changing isn't for the worse? You just want better for your life? For your family maybe? You were made for better right? So is it you making your own life miserable cause all you're doing is THINKING and not DOING? But you *think* (there's that word again) what am I supposed to do? Where do you go from here? How do you jump back into yourself and feel good about who you are again? One thing you do know though is that you do BELONG to Christ (1 Peter 2:9). You may not feel the encouragement of belonging to Christ, because you're truly not seeking Him. Maybe you've been fooling yourself? Again...you don't know. But you're starting to realize that living in the dark sucks the joy right out of you and maybe, just maybe, if you start actually talking to God everyday, as often as you can and taking time listening to Him, He will bring you back into the light...comfortably into your own skin...