Thank Therapy

I mainly started this blog to stay connected to family and friends and keep them all updated on our growing family. And every now and then you can catch a blog with me venting away on something or complaining. I guess you can say this is one of those blogs, but not really in a complaining way. Alot of things I have to say are based off of many things I have heard in church the past month and have really stuck with me. And I encourage you all who read this to really look at your own life and re-evaluate it, cause just when you think you are pretty darn special, you're really not. I just find myself complaining about really stupid stuff. REALLY stupid stuff. I find myself getting really annoyed with someone or something over something minimal. I sometimes let my days be ruined over small things. Amongst all this negative attitude, I can't recall a time I stopped to think about what I do have and all what the Lord has given me and where he's taking me. I mean, George and I both drive really nice, brand new cars and guess what? We complain about them OFTEN. Everytime we drive my car, we complain about the things it doesn't have and our other car does. Then when we drive George's car, we are so quick to complain about the things that it doesn't have that the my car has. It's always, "If only we had this, it would be so much better!" "Why can't MY car have a back up camera?" Why can't MY car have cooler navigation?" Why can't MY side mirrors fold in everytime I turn the car off?" "Why does it ALWAYS have to rain when I wash MY car?" Yoohoo, I'm lucky just to have a car and the fact that I have a really nice one, I should not be complaining this much and about stupid things. Maybe if my car didn't have brakes or something I should complain, but I have brakes and thensome! And folks, this is just one minor example of all the complaints I tend to spit out. There's also, my hair isn't blonde enough...my hair isn't brown enough...why can't my stomach be flatter...why can't I go on a cruise through Greece AND go to the Bahamas all in one year...why did our church have to move buildings 10 minutes down the freeway instead of around the corner, now we have to drive further!...I don't want the $20 vest from Costco, I want the $150 vest from Nordstrom...I don't want to buy my baby furniture from Walmart, I want to buy it at Pottery Barn...it's not fair you don't have any student loans and I have $90,000.00 worth...and the big one: George works very hard so I don't have to work and can stay home with Kingston and yeah I have errands to do, things to do around the house, but I also get to do alot of fun things, like lay by the pool when it's nice and here's me: "Geeeeoooorge, why can't you stay home with me everyday too? Why can't you come hang out at the pool?" I get mad when he has to go to a meeting or is doing something for lunch already. And people, this is all during work hours...it's not like he plans these things at night or on weekends. How embarrassing is that? It's not enough that we've been blessed as a family with nice cars, a home, food on the table, a beautiful baby, an awesome church, great friends, the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and the list goes down the road of all our blessings and I have the nerve to complain why my husband can't come out and play with us all day and everyday. Hellllooo? He has to work for us to be able to keep these things and for me to do all that I do. I guess I just want things handed to me for free. I want life to be easy. I want to live where I want to live, wear what I want to wear, drive what I want to drive, have all the things I want to have...now. I don't want to wait. I don't want to patient and from looking back on my life just the past year, I certainly didn't want to be thankful for what I do have. Do any of these complaints sound familier, just tweeked a little bit to fit into your life? To take the time and think about my most often complaints is hard, annoying and humbling all at the same time. I feel so selfish and ungrateful. And I have to apologize to a good friend of mine, Anne. The other day we were talking about student loans and I had the odacity to point a finger at her and in not so many words say she was ungrateful for the fact that she got her college paid for, no debt and I have so much debt. I didn't use those words at all, but in my mind I was thinking it. Who am I to say things like that or even think that about other people! Especially when I've been living the way I'm living? I don't know other peoples heart. I am so sorry Anne. I was just jealous. And this is what I've come to realize...I'm not as special as I thought I was. There's alot of work I need to do in my life...in my heart. I feel like I need to not complain as much about stupid things and get jealous about what other people have and I don't have and step back...step back to look at what I do have. Step back to look deep into my heart. Step back to see who I'm becoming. Step back to see what life I want to live. I have decided that it starts with being thankful. I can't nip my bad attitude in the bud without looking at the positive. I have also decided that there are alot of things in my life that I need to readjust to live a more healthier life...exercising...eating better...watching what I listen to...watching what I watch...this is kinda off the beaten path, but did anyone else notice that a whole lot more people started eating more healthier AFTER "Go Green!" became trendy? Did our society need another stupid trend just so we ate better? I mean, go into your local department store and you see t-shirts that says, "I'm made with organic cotton" and there's practically a bouncer at the local Whole Foods market letting one person in as a person leaves. It's incredible. Even more so...people have become so consumed with what type of food they put into their mouth, but don't think twice about what they put into their mind and heart! We'll eat a $20 pound of meat from Whole Foods cause it has less whatever in it, but then we'll listen to music, watch a movie or read a magazine that warps your mind. Why can't a healthier heart be trendy? This has become a HUGE eye opener for George and I...we aren't very gung ho about organic foods...not cause we don't like it, it's just that it's baby steps for us, but we're trying each day to eat healthier and we also made a decision to do the same with everything else in our life. We even got the guts to turn off a movie the other week 15 minutes into it cause we didn't feel right watching it. Even after we paid 6 dollars for it on demand! But I tell you...I'd rather waste my money then waste my life. And I'm not saying I'm never going to buy another expensive thing or I'm not going to watch another movie or listen to another song that isn't Christian, I just need to make it a point in my life to be more thankful and more cautious. I truly believe if I can be more thankful, I will start to make better decisions for my life. I end with this...Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner. I thank you so much for the life you have given me, the blessings you have bestowed upon my family and where you are leading us. I thank you for George and the wonderful husband he is and the Man of God he is becoming each day. And I thank you for beautiful Kingston and the sweet baby that he is. I pray he will choose to love you someday as much as I love you and grow up to be the Man of God you have planned for him. Thank you for me and the work you're doing in my heart. A-men.