If I Had To Do It All Over Again, Would I?

This is my sweet puppy, Gracie. Well...she's almost 4 years old so not so much a puppy, but she'll always be a puppy to me. 5.3 lbs. (weighed today actually!) and full of as many licks as you want! She's so cute and so much fun! Well...this sweet joy of my life became mine Christmas day I guess almost 4 years ago :) Love her to death...seriously. I didn't even realize until today. Since Kingston came into the world, she's definitely not number 1 anymore and I haven't really been neglecting her, but she definitely doesn't get all the attention she got before. Anyways, I had to take her to the vet today cause I noticed a lump on her back. 300 dollars later we walk away with a maybe,so-called "infection" (the lump) or it could possibly be some type of growth, maybe malignant? We don't know...oh...don't forget her teeth are practically falling out and she has an ear infection in BOTH ears. :( SO SAD! I was bawling on the phone with George. How could I not have noticed any of this earlier?!?! I felt like such a bad puppy parent. So she's on antibiotics for the possible "infection" and then we have two ointments I have to put on her twice a day, one for her ears and one for the lump. If the antibiotics don't work within a couple weeks, we have to talk about getting the growth removed. And since her teeth are practically falling out? We have to put her under in a couple weeks and have an actual deep cleaning and the doctor said he would just remove the growth then. So I'm driving home after hearing all this and just don't even know what to make of it. How could such a little animal become such a HUGE part of your life? I seriously don't even know what I would do if something happened to her. Seriously...if I had to do it all over again, I would rethink getting a dog. It's not the training...or the money it takes for the upkeep...it's not the annoying licks or how long she takes to go to the bathroom...it all comes down to, what in the world am I going to do if she got really sick and died? Or even got hit by a car? I think I would die. My heart hurt so much today after the doctor told me all this stuff and I got so sad. Now I'm staring at her as I'm writing this and she's cuddled on the floor in the corner of the couch looking not so great (probably from all the meds she had to take tonight!) and I feel so bad. I hope she lives forever :) And if you ask me...there's FOR SURE puppy heaven!