One specific incident moved me to write this blog (and you would think it was my negative attitude the other day, but it's not ;)). George and I were picking up some ice cream at Coldstone yesterday evening (The Pie Who Loved Me...get some...you'll love it!) and the gal behind the counter asked us if we wanted to donate a dollar to something of a sort to support someone of a sort (could you tell I was really paying attention...I was actually more enthralled that they had ice cream cupcakes). So of course George was like, of course, why wouldn't I? Then we were chit-chattin' about it and the gal goes on to say, "You would be surprised on how many people are really against giving one dollar. A man was in here the other day and jumped down my throat when I asked him, saying, 'Why in the world would I donate a dollar in this economy, when I'm the one that someone should give a dollar to?!?!'" My initial reaction was: Really? It's a dollar. How selfish are you? Again: It's a dollar. I understand the economy sucks. My husband is in mortgage. You think his job has been candyland the past 6 months? And who are you to think that someone somewhere owes YOU? Alot of harsh accusations there's, especially coming from a girl who basically has a 2009 resolution to be less selfish (talk about being a hypocrite, sorry :()Here's the thing though: Christ has meant for this life to be enjoyed, but at the same time never guaranteed that it would be easy peasy for us. So alot of time, I don't get the complaining. And if you ask me? I think life is super hard. And I tend to DWELL on the hardness of it and oh how tough it is and what I don't have and what I think I need or what I think I deserve and all the pain and suffering and sickness and fear and death and anything negative you can think of. I think I am so negative, I don't enjoy life. I'm constantly looking for the enjoyment. Waiting for it to drop on my doorstep. I don't take the time to even look at the things I am blessed with that actually make my life enjoyable. And yes, there are the easy blessings: Great family, Good Friends, Awesome Husband, Beautiful and Healthy baby boy, the Best church (shout out to Eastlake, what what), etc. Then this is where it gets tough...I feel like it's hard to notice details, so I'm going to do my best to pour out some things I feel blessed with:
- I feel blessed that I even know Christ.
- I feel blessed to even be married.
- I feel blessed to have even been pregnant and given the opportunity to raise a handsome lil' boy!
- I feel blessed George even HAS a job.
- I feel blessed that George even got a promotion within his company.
- I feel blessed that we own a home.
- I feel blessed we each have a car.
- I feel blessed that finances suck so bad and yet we can still manage to put food on the table and eat and pay bills.
- I feel blessed that I can still shop every now and then.
- I feel blessed that I feel my attitude changing a little each day into a more positive one.
- I even feel blessed that even though marriage sucks sometimes that our marriage doesn't even really suck.
- I feel blessed I can CHOOSE to stay home with Kingston.
- I feel blessed to know I have a husband who becoming a better husband each day and he has a wife who is becoming a better wife each day.
- I feel blessed that we have hot water (weird I know), so hot that our doctor made sure that we turn it down so it doesn't burn our lil' one's hands when he attempts to turn it on. I mean really? We have so much hot water that we need to turn the heat down? How many people in this world can say that?
- I just feel blessed.
I would rather have a life that is ultimately unknown, uncomfortable and a bumpy road cause it constantly brings me to my knees to Christ. If I had it "good". If I lived in the house I wanted. If I lived in the city I wanted. If I wore what I wanted to wear. If we made more money. If I drove what I wanted to drive. If I get to travel all the time where I want to travel. I can honestly say I don't think I could seek Christ out as much as I do and really work on being humble, less selfish and to see the many blessings in my life. God would much rather have a relationship with me and guess what? I would much rather have a relationship with Him.